 |
"People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad." Ralph Waldo Emerson |
re·view – noun
A critical article or report, as in a periodical, on a book, play, recital, or the like; critique; evaluation.
cri·tique – noun
An article or essay criticizing a literary or other work; detailed evaluation.
Emphasis mine.
Random House Unabridged Dictionary
Any author—any at all—will tell you that one of the most important parts of the writing process is technically after the writing process—audience feedback. For some authors, called screenwriters, feedback comes in the form of more viewers and higher ratings. For others, it’s in glowing essays in top literary magazines.
For fanfiction authors, it’s in reviews.
Reviews are the subject of this rant.
How To Write A Good Review
No! I Will Not Rewrite The Whole Fucking Story For You, Dillhole!
HALL OF FAME-R
I can safely safely say that was the most chilling fic I have ever read. I was so full of hope when reading the beginning! As it grew steadily worse and worse I could only comprehend the sinking, dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me something terrible had happened. Edward's pain is palpable, even in third person. I especially loved the comments about pulling his hair out. =P
When I got to the section detailing
but then I read it over again and noticed how you carefully left out any mention of
The last line had its own hypnotic quality to it, and it is so incredibly ironic, how Edward goes to Volterra anyway, even after coming back, because Bella has indeed died--because of his absence. I think I feel physical pain from the irony =]
This is a dream review. The reviewer gave their initial opinion in the first line, and then quickly went through her feelings and personal opinions as she read the story. She commented on something she liked specifically.
HALL OF SHAME-R
they al go to volterra?
No comment on the story. No indication of whether they liked it or not. Nothing. And please, DON’T ask questions in a review space. If you feel you’re going to die if you don’t find out an answer, for the love of all that is good and holy, PM the author. Don’t spam the review box.
Next on the list, the solidity of The Story.
Basically, what happens in the story, happens in the story. End of discussion. We, the authors, refuse to change, edit, or rewrite a story because some faceless reviewer said:
I like the story, but next time, please make it a little happier.
In a word…NO.
If the story is sad, it’s because it’s supposed to be sad. If the world was only full of fluff and bunnies, literature as we know it would cease to exist, as well as 90% of all good fanfiction.
But wait, there’s more!
Beyond the never-satisfied reviewer is the reviewer who demands that the author change the entire plot, rape the theme, and ruin the story---JUST FOR THEM!
For example, a reviewer reads (maybe not even that) a story set in 1964, way before the source work takes place. Unsatisfied with the fanwork, she writes:
I have one thind to say
WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING !
okay now that my ranting is over I will Say some words of advice .
Do this stoy again (sorry to act mean and bratty but..) it would sound less confusing if you did it in the present time with bella in tha picture maybe even after her transformtion cause we know it is comin. it could even be a sequel . But other than that good story.
She asks (orders, really) me to rewrite the story in another time period, with other characters, with another plot. So basically, write a whole new story about something she wants to read. Notice how she so nicely contradicts everything she just said with a little codicil at the end.
No comment on lack of grammar, because that’s just too easy.
Last but certainly not least in this little rant, flames.
“Flames feed my fire.”
“I bake cookies with your flames.”
“Trolls will be roasted, alive, over flames.”
Get it?
In solidarity with other suffering writers of great works, I won’t be pithy here. I’ll leave it at this: if you don’t have anything constructive to say, don’t say anything. Flames are a waste of cyberspace.
Oh, and I’ve become quite talented at using the tiniest bit of information on people to track them down. Be careful, because before you know it, your inbox could be filled with links to that weird green laughing phallic Pokemon-looking thing.
Hur hur hur!
~Lomesir